As an infant, Dave Clegg crawled away from his family's camp-site and became hopelessly lost. His grief stricken parents would have searched tirelessly, but the fishing was really good and well, you know.

Hungry and alone, Dave began eating everything he could get his hands on. Some say it was survival instinct taking over. Some say that's just what babies do. Whatever the case, pebbles, sand and pine cones are very low in protein and essential vitamins.

Fate, however, would deal him a merciful hand. A barren woodpecker discovered Dave and took him in as her own. (I wanted to say "took him under her wing" but Dave didn't think it would be appropriate to use puns in a touching story such as this.)

On a steady diet of worms, bugs and wood pulp, the little tike grew into a healthy, albeit strange young man. He developed a strong foundation of morals, which Dave attributes to "tough love." His adoptive mother, who he called....well, he didn't call her anything, but anyway, she was a strict disciplinarian. The hundreds of welts and scars covering his head today are a testament to her incredible parental skills.

As he entered his teens, Dave became aware of the devastating truth: He was not like other woodpeckers. Numerous attempts at flight only brought frustration and injury. "What's-her-name" could only watch in horror as her beloved son repeatedly bashed his face against trees in search of food.

One morning, Dave happened across a group of hikers. They were amazed at this primitive human in his cloak of wild turkey feathers. "Who are you", they asked...but he could only squawk and whistle. That's when Dave spied a small stick on the ground. He began to scratch pictures in the dirt, communicating his story the only way he could.

Once returned to civilization, Dave was called upon time and again to recount his amazing experience. The lecture circuit followed, forcing him to spend many hours practicing "speeches". Although still lacking the ability to verbalize, Dave's drawing skills were improving daily.

Today, Dave Clegg is a professional Illustrator . He lives on a small horse farm in North Georgia with his wife, Lyn and their two children, Kevin and Kelly.

Many psychologists assigned to the case predict that Dave will eventually revert to his primitive state and return to the wild. Dave says, "Impossible!." (Knock on wood.)